Investing in Your Own Development
Investing in yourself is the highest compliment and commitment you can give yourself and your loved ones. Like anything that you commit to, it will have ups and downs. It will take effort. There will be amazing results, guaranteed.
At the core, investing in your own development is not just about investing in yourself. It goes deeper than that. It is about investing in a RELATIONSHIP with yourself.
Repeat: My investing in my own development is investing in my relationship with myself.
Repeat: My investing in my own development is investing in my relationship with myself.
Repeat: My investing in my own development is investing in my relationship with myself.
Your relationship with yourself is the only constant relationship you will have in your life. EVERYTHING is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is rooted and nurtured within yourself, NOT outside of yourself. How you value, treat, and perceive yourself will determine the experiences of your life and how you respond to them.
Now. Let that sink in.
Really. Let it sink in.
The investment in the relationship with yourself is pricey but no one can take it from you. Like Warren Buffet has said, you won’t be taxed on it and inflation has no impact on it. No one can take away from you what you’ve got inside. Everyone has potential they haven’t used. The hefty price is courage and a complete willingness to learn, laugh, and have fun.
We are women. In general, we are fairly relationally based. Woohoo! That’s a good foundation to have. Oh, but wait! We tend to be other focused. That’s not so good when it comes to a relationship with ourselves. But no worries, we will build on the strengths.
In investing in your relationship with yourself, think BIG. Imagine everything you want for the person you love the most. Your child, your partner, your parents. Now allow yourself to imagine all those things for yourself. Whatever you are wishing for those you love, at the core are likely things like ease, peace, happiness, self-fulfillment, having full support and care from friends, health, etc. Write those core wishes down. Go on, do it!
Nice job committing your wishes to paper, no matter how awkward it may have felt.
Here are some ideas on how to develop them in your life. Remember, this is about your relationship with yourself. It is not something you do when you have time or on your birthday. It is a daily and ongoing commitment.
Create Space for Your Spirit
Source/God is with you. Once a day give thanks for 3 things about yourself. Thank your Source out loud. Some examples might be “thank you for my strength, charisma, gentle demeanor”. Try not to repeat the same 3 things on subsequent days. Creating this space allows you to not only appreciate yourself at your core but also to fall in love with yourself over and over again.
Create Self-love Habits
These habits are those which will help keep you centered and grounded in your daily life. They will support your well-being. Some examples might be to go on a weekly date with yourself. That’s right, take yourself to movies and dinner. You and yourself, that’s the date.
You can also practice tuning into yourself. Check in with yourself several times a day. Hey how’s it going? How ya feeling? How’s your energy level? You know the drill. You do it with your partner, girlfriends, and children. Your relationship with yourself is no different.
Compliment yourself. It is another way to self-love. You can also take that special bath/soak. Treat yourself to some flowers.
Live with Intent
When you live with intent, you own your actions, you own yourself. Intent allows you to develop stillness and a keen awareness. Imagine the power that holds. Imagine if you placed all your attention on your child, every little detail of what they did. After only a few hours you would come away with a very deep knowledge of your child. That is powerful!
Allow yourself to have deep knowledge of yourself.
Women are often multitasking. Doing one thing while thinking of another. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. And it is at times necessary. However, balancing this with a heavy dosing of intention can provide valuable insight into yourself as well establishing calm from within.
Try applying intention to everyday things. If you are showering, say to yourself “I am aware I am showering”. Bring your attention to that. If you are driving, “I am aware I am driving”. Or even, “I am aware that I am breathing”. Allowing yourself to be aware brings forth intentional action. As you acknowledge yourself and what you do in moments, you bring forth your life force. You begin to acknowledge you are in relationship with yourself. You own yourself and your actions instead of just doing things out of habit. You may come to realize how often you act without intention and how that disengages you from reality and from yourself.
Practice Forgiveness
In forgiving you release burden. Forgiveness is at its core, an act of self-love. You don’t forgive another for them. You do it for yourself. You make peace with yourself. When you forgive another, or yourself, it is NOT saying the wrong is ok. It’s simply releasing the hurt. It is also forgiving yourself for buying into a hurtful narrative. It allows you to regain your power. It allows you to see the positive qualities in yourself. It is an opportunity to reset healthy boundaries from a positive place.
Nourish Yourself
Eat for your well-being, not your taste buds. Again, think about how you feed someone you love and want to be around for a long time. Sure, there may be the occasional splurge, but likely you want food to nourish the body of those you love.
Now allow yourself to be that to yourself. Is the food you are eating nourishing your health?
Easy Does It – Go Gentle
Don’t take everything so seriously. Stop analyzing everything. It’s ok to laugh at yourself. It’s ok to let something just be. Practice blessing what happened and allow it to expand and grow you.
Don’t take your thoughts so seriously. Everything you think does not require your attention. Just like everything your girlfriend says does not require you to take action. Stop having all or nothing beliefs. There is no perfection.
Remove “fail” from your vocabulary. Allow yourself to “flail”- like a fish out of water. Difficult or trying times are growing pains. There is no failure in learning. Although in the process we will “flail”.
Explore
Like you would with someone you just met, explore who you are. Try new things. Ask yourself questions about yourself. Let yourself laugh … a lot.
Have a Personal Crisis Plan
Be dirt honest with yourself. What are your weaknesses and what is your fall back mode when life gets hard? Or when you are dealt a really bad hand? Or when you make a mistake? How do you behave in your most vulnerable moments?
Have a plan ready on how you will respond to yourself in these moments. Write it down. Keep several copies. Keep one on your phone, in your wallet, on your desk. When you are in crisis or feeling super vulnerable look at your crisis plan. Ideally your crisis plan will contain a direction to hug yourself. If not literally, then in your mind’s eye. Take at least a few moments for yourself where you will let yourself have your feelings. Remind yourself to breathe. Acknowledge you are likely in major “flail” mode. That’s ok. Acknowledge the reality of the time and actions that will be necessary to continue to move forward.
Then in a few hours or days, put one foot in front of the other. Remember to check in with yourself, just as you would a partner or friend who is in crisis.
Eat well.
Rest.
Breathe.
You are coming face to face with your greatness in these moments, even if it doesn’t feel or seem that way.
Your relationship with yourself is a testimony to your life. Choices you make, people in your life, and how you move in this world are reflections of your relationship with yourself. Commit to fully honoring and cultivating it. It is not only the basis for who you are but also your celebration of your soul.
Blessings,
Martha
I hope you stay tuned for the next blog on celebrating your feminine energy and not getting lost in the masculine energy.